Guilt-Free Spending For Married Couples!

It’s all about the benjamins baby!  Wanna know how to spend those benjamins guilt-free?

When my husband and I got married back in 2006, we instantly merged our two separate bank accounts into one joint bank account.  

And then came my instant epiphany… 
“Oh crap, this isn’t just “my” money anymore.  It is now “our” money!

So how would I know how much was a fair amount to spend on clothes and shoes?  I liked to shop. A lot. My husband liked to go see movies with his friends, but his outings were often a lot cheaper than my shopping adventures.  So I started to question how much money was a fair amount to spend in comparison to his spending.

I began to question every purchase, every item, not knowing when I should shop and when I shouldn’t.  But I did believe that we each worked hard for our money, and we each deserved some “fun” money that we could spend however we wanted to.  

We decided to come up with a “fun” money budget for each of us.

We started with a cash system…and FAILED.

We began by taking out $100 cash per month for him and $100 cash per month for me.  We figured that if we kept this cash separate from our regular joint checking account, then it’d be an easy way to keep our “fun” money separate.  However, we quickly found that there were problems with this method.

If I went shopping at a store and spent just some of that $100, then the cashier would give me change.  I’d put that change in my wallet to be saved for another shopping adventure at a later date.  However, sometimes I would find myself spending some of that money at a convenience store to buy my kid a candy bar, or giving some of it towards the “buy a co-worker a plant fund” because somebody just had a baby at my work, or for my kid’s lunch money, etc.  

Suddenly my “fun” money became money that I wasn’t keeping track of because sometimes when you come across situations where cash is needed, the only cash I would have on me is that “fun” money.  Then suddenly, my leftover cash was no more and I couldn’t help but start to get bitter that I wasn’t able to find a better way of keeping it more protected.

We then tried an envelope system…and FAILED AGAIN.

Instead of using cash, we started to simply use our debit cards that were linked to our regular joint checking account. We each got an envelope and we printed a sheet that looked very similar to a checkbook register to keep on the front of each of our envelopes.

Every time we spent some of our “fun” money, we would keep the receipts inside the envelope. Then occasionally we would write these purchases down on the front of the envelope. The idea was that we would be able to track our purchases and know how much we had left on an ongoing basis.  

What ended up happening was that it was a TON of work!  Who’s got time to log receipts every day?!?  I couldn’t seem to keep up with it – especially if there were times when I made a lot of little purchases.  Or I’d forget a receipt and then find it later in the week shoved in the cup holder of my car only after I had already spent the rest of my money on something else.  

So now, without further ado, I would love to introduce you to our last solution that even years later, it still works for us.  

Finally, we opened up “fun” money accounts…and SUCCEEDED!

Yep.  We went to our local bank and opened up a free checking account for each of us.  This means that we still had our regular joint checking account. But now there were two additional accounts – one for each of us – that became our “fun” money accounts.  

We made sure to get a debit card for these accounts also. I have a debit card for my “fun” money account and my husband has a debit card for his “fun” money account.  We also made sure to take off any overdraft capabilities on both accounts. That way, even if there was a time that we might have accidentally overlooked the balance and went to unknowingly overspend, the debit card would be declined.

Why I love my “fun” money account:

These fun money accounts are solely for our guilt-free money.  We never have to ask each other for any kind of approval before spending this money.  It’s quite liberating!

If at the end of the month I don’t end up spending all of my “fun” money, the remainder just hangs out in my account.  I don’t lose it. I don’t have to feel pressured to spend it.  I don’t confuse it with grocery store money.  It’s just my money that then rolls over to the next month.  YAY!  My budget can now accumulate without me having to keep track of it.

As with any budget, it helps me prioritize my purchases and aim to only buy items that I really love.

It has become a more realistic way of me saving up for something bigger.  If I want to splurge on a $200 designer purse (which I actually never have, but I’m just sayin’…), then it gives me goals to work towards since it’s something expensive.  Is that item worth more than one month’s spending budget?

We link these accounts to our online banking so we can see each other’s “fun” money accounts anytime we need or want to.  This means we each have accountability, but it also means that we can always see the up-to-date balance for our “fun” money accounts and know instantly how much money we have to spend.

The biggest benefit to having our spending accounts is we’ve had loads more money devoted to our family.

We’ve been able to save more money for vacations, for our house, for family cars, and for making purchases that benefit our entire family.  

Having a budget is absolutely a necessity if you want to control frivolous spending.  And I am a person who absolutely LOVES frivolous spending on myself.  I could easily get carried away with all the shiny sale signs in the store.  I will be the first to tell that I think I’m pretty good at justifying why I need every item I make eye contact with at Target.  But now, it doesn’t even matter how many items or purchases I try to justify.  It comes down to this:

If I have enough money in my “fun” money account, then I can buy it.  If I don’t have enough money in my “fun” money account, then I can’t buy it.

And obviously, having these spending accounts will not solve ALL of your budgeting issues.  Not even close.  I am aware that there are so many other areas that we as adults still have to discuss and budget for such as how much to spend on groceries a week, how much money should we spend on our family car, etc.  

These “fun” money accounts are one area of your budget that you can have complete control over.

There are a few guidelines that need to be discussed with your spouse before setting up your guilt-free “fun” money accounts in order to avoid any confusion or miscommunication that could potentially come up.

A Strict Budget →

How much will each of you get every month?  This should be a realistic amount that both of you are comfortable with and that you can easily afford.

Scheduling →  

What day of the month will your budget amount go into your “fun” money account?  We have ours scheduled as an automatic deposit from our main joint checking account on the same day each month.

Talk Specifics →

What will your “fun” money account include and not include?  Deciding these things ahead of time will cut out any frustrating conversations that might come up later.  Here are some examples:

If your “fun” money account will mostly be used for shopping…
What does “shopping” mean?  
Does this mean just clothes?  What about shoes? Purses? Jewelry?
What if it’s an actual clothing need, not a want, such as new socks or a new pair of workout tennis shoes?  

If your “fun” money account will mostly be used for entertainment…
Would this include eating out?  Drinks? Uber rides?
What if you eat out on your lunch break with co-workers?
If a guys/girls weekend was planned, would this be used for the gas to drive there?  Airfare? Hotel?

Bonus Money →

On occasion, my husband and I have run into instances where we receive an out of the ordinary chunk of money such as a bonus check from work.  There have been times when we’ve decided to divide some of that money up and add it to each of our “fun” money accounts. This is a sweet little treat as there are times that one or both of us want to purchase something that’s a big ticket item.  In this case, it’s not always realistic to depend solely on our “fun” money budget amount. Sometimes it’s nice to treat ourselves to a little added cushion in our accounts as long as our financial situation allows it.


I honestly feel like we have probably cut out so many money arguments since starting our “fun” money accounts.  There’s no surprise spending. There’s no guilt. And we always have a designated budget.

Go to the bank, open up your own “fun” money accounts, and start enjoying your guilt-free spending today!

What do you like to spend your “fun” money on?  Please leave a comment and share with us!